Stormy performing in Fort Lauderdale strip club in March.

Stormy bringing the thunder to a Fort Lauderdale strip club in March. Joe Raedle / Getty

Last night, at promptly 11 p.m., Stormy Daniels took to the stage of Seattle'due south Dream Girls at SoDo and gave a historic, patriotic, vagina-forward, wax-driven erotic trip the light fantastic toe for me, my boyfriend, and the troops on Veterans Day. (The troops got in for free.) At ane signal, Stormy kicked so high I thought her heel was going to curve behind her head similar Gumby and skewer the face of the man whom she had just walloped with her bare boob. A puppet, I might add together, that has allegedly walloped the President of the United States. Information technology was electrifying. I felt like I was watching Tonya Harding practice the triple axel at the 1991 Nationals.

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Daniels was sweeping through Seattle as a part of a nationwide tour of America's strip clubs. The tour—ofttimes called the "Brand America Horny Again" tour, even though Daniels has said she'southward repeatedly asked promoters non to use that title (practiced on Dream Girls for going with "Support the Troops" bout)—features Stormy dancing to a set up of three songs. She started the performance wearing what looked like a fancy witch cloak and ended upwards covered in wax and rolling around naked on a hirsuite blanket to what sounded like a Phil Collins song. I imagine, for about forepart-row viewers, that Stormy's performance will be the merely time they will ever get motorboated past a woman who presumably motorboated the Commander-in-Chief. Only Daniels is far more than than Trump, she is, beginning off, a newly all-powerful Saint (👇), and arguably the about famous person working in the world's oldest profession.

Earlier this year, there was some infuriating press effectually Saint Stormy's tour. Vice's Eve Peyser notably published a piece that focused on the lack of clapping at one of Stormy'southward shows:

"If you're set for Stormy Daniels, brand some racket," the announcer commanded. Gossip, the aptly named Long Island strip club hosting the event, was itch with only equally many journalists as regular patrons, and the audience did non, actually, make much dissonance.

[...]

Out of guilt, I gave a half-hearted clap for Daniels, born Stephanie Gregory Clifford, the porn star who Donald Trump'south lawyer reportedly paid $130,000 to continue quiet nearly her declared 2006 extramarital affair with Trump. She has kept quiet about information technology, but in 2011 she talked to InTouch in rather too much particular about the tryst—according to that interview, Trump loves Shark Week and hates sharks, and she was worried that he would endeavor to pay her for sex.

This early focus on her crowds' noise levels has plagued the bout, with other media outlets using the piece as evidence to attack Daniels. (Peyser's use of "out of guilt" is telling.) At her Seattle bear witness, Stormy repeatedly made a clapping motility at the audition, which I can merely attribute to the media's early framing of her tour because the audience was plenty loud. But, it must exist noted, people brand "noise" at strip clubs with their wallets. Why does information technology thing if people are woo-girling while Stormy takes off her top? If a dollar equals a round of applause in a strip social club, then concluding nighttime Seattle gave the longest standing ovation I've e'er seen in this town. In that location were so many dollars thrown onstage that men had to come with brooms to sweep mountains of $twenty bills out from under her feet—while she high-kicked! With her pussy out!

Speaking of pussy...

Im proud to be an American now.

Here's the promo flyer. Let'southward expect closer. CB

I didn't know you spelt pusssy with three S's.

I didn't know you spelled pusssy with three S's. CB

This country owes Stormy Daniels for her service, and she's still out here giving it for the troops on Veterans Day. Even so conservative media and naysayers—Meghan McCain (👇)—apply their giant platforms to say this porn star being sued by the president is but "trying to go attention" and that this all "seems similar a publicity stunt." But I don't need to defend Stormy, Stormy can defend herself:

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were right when they anointed Stormy Daniels as Saint Tempestuous, Centre of the Hurricane of Truth and Stormer of the Barricades of Intolerance. Daniels is a woman putting a brave, intelligent confront on an American industry that is constantly used and never thanked. She is a adult female who is giving this nation free lessons on how to combat trolls with manner and grace, a woman who pours hot wax across her vagina* and wipes information technology up with dollar bills. We could all learn something from Stormy Daniels'southward feminism. She is a patriot, and I, for i, will forever be grateful for her service.

A patriot.

*I know, I know, it'southward the labia but AP says to apply vagina.

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